Choosing a fictional boyfriend is a serious decision. Who you choose will determine how people look at you (ahem, Draco) or if you’ll be forced to arm wrestle your friends who accidentally-on-purpose pick the same fictional boyfriend as you do (ahem, Almanzo).
After much debate, I have narrowed my fictional boyfriends down to 12. And then I held a special dance-off round and narrowed the choices down to 2 (Joe Morelli refused to participate. I’m not surprised, really, but the disappointment was huge).
FOUR and why he should love me forever and a day.
(If, you know, it weren’t for Tris. I mean, she’s okay, if you go for that crazy smart and brave type. Gah.)
Four is from Veronica Roth’s dystopian novel and soon to be feature film Divergent. Four, aka Tobias, is the strong, silent type. With tattoos. He is one of the fearless Dauntless initiate instructors. So imagine going to summer camp and having a crush on the college boy counselor. And he throws knives at you and you might die before the talent show. See? Hubba hubba.
Why I love him and why he should love me:
1) He wants to change Dauntless leadership for the better.
(OMG you guys! I’m in management too!)
2) He works in the Dauntless control room when not instructing initiates.
(Seriously, this is weird! I work at a computer ALL DAY!)
3) He has dreamy blue eyes and lips that turn down in a natural frown.
(My mouth ALSO turns down in a natural frown. Imagine our blue-eyed, frowny babies!)
4) The Dauntless live underground and seem to stay indoors a lot.
(I’m sensitive to the sun. It’s like we were made for each other!)
While it does seem like we’re destined for a happily ever after, I do have some concerns.
1) I have no upper body strength. This might make make it difficult to jump on a moving train. (I’m just guessing.)
2) If I went through that fear landscape simulation, I would still be there. His name is Four, mine would be INFINITY.
Which brings us to Hunky Hector! What? Oh, I’m sorry. His full name is LORD-COMMANDER HECTOR OF THE ROYAL GUARD.
Hector, from Rae Carson’s Girl of Fire and Thorns and Crown of Embers is loyal, strong and kind. As commander of the royal guard, he has pledged his life to protect Queen Elisa. He supports and encourages Elisa as she learns how to rule a country, while also continuing to see her as a real person.
WHY HECTOR SHOULD BE MY ONE AND ONLY
1) He liked Elisa from the start, not one to conform to society’s love of over-corseted, scone deprived body types.
“You are a beautiful queen, Elisa,” he says, voice pitched low.
I never expected he would say such a thing. “A month or two of pastries will fix that,” I say. Then I smile to show him I mean it flippantly.
His expression does not change. “Even then.”
(Let’s just say that I DO enjoy a scone now and then. More now and also quite a few then.)
2. Elisa notices that Hector’s lips “settle into sorrow with comfortable familiarity”.
(A natural frown!! I’m sensing a theme here.)
3. He respects Elisa and encourages her opinions.
(BOY HOWDY DO I HAVE OPINIONS.)
4. He loves history!
(I’ve been on a quest to visit all the presidential libraries. I think I could use a personal guard, don’t you!?)
5. He likes to give hands-on fighting lessons.
(He likes to give hands-on fighting lessons!)
REASONS WHY WE CAN’T BE TOGETHER:
There are none.
And here is why:
“Don’t you see,
ElisaRyann? I love you the way a drowning man loves air. And it would destroy me to have you just a little.”
Now I’m off to see Hector before spoilery spoilery happens in Carson’s final book in the trilogy, The Bitter Kingdom (fall 2013). Wish me luck! And cheap air fare.
Agree? Disagree? Who would make it to the final round of your fictional boyfriend competition?
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